she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
