Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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