so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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