I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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