I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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