Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
