i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
she looked like the before picture.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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