I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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