I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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