I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
