I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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