"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Randomize
