You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
