Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
