Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
