I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
