ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
