I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
