She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
