Sacagawea was the original milf.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
