This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
