get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
