just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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