I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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