Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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