i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
