I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
