yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
