Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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