it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
