fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Randomize
