dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
"it" just moved
its not stalking. its research.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
