wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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