You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
