I feel like I'm in dance class right now
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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