surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
