Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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