dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
