We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize