I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
