Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
