i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
