Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
