Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
