how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You smell like a Billy Joel song
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
