the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
