I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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