4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just sent this text using only my big toe
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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