So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My ass is underappreciated
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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