no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
