I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
even my farts smell like vagina
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I did not marry a roomba.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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