if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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