the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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