Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
