he shaved USA in his pubs
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
