...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
