i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
