dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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