I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
